Yesterday I turned in the official paperwork to legally change my name.
I’m finally staking a legal claim to my power name! I will no longer be energetically hitched to my ex-husband through my legal name—which was my married name.
It’s been a long time coming.
I’ve gone by Sarah Grace Powers for more than a decade now. But it turns out you have to jump through quite a few hoops and come up with a pile of cash if you’re a woman wanting to legally change her name … if it’s not because of marriage or divorce.
Basically, if you are not taking your husband’s name, or going back to your father’s name, you’ve gotta pay through the nose to get that shit done so it’s recognized legally.
This is some bullshit along the lines of how little medical research has been done on menopause and women’s health issues versus men’s health issues.
Why even change my name?
For me, my name is a symbol of my identity. I’ve made small name changes throughout my entire life. It’s only now that I’m seeing I might have instinctually been guided by a desire to make a shift in my identity.
The term ‘identity-shifting’ is bandied about as what needs to happen when you want to let go of old beliefs that aren’t helping you, and embrace new thoughts, ideas, beliefs that will propel you toward your newer goals or aspirations.
I was christened as Sarah, but my parents called me Sally since birth. I was Sally all through my childhood, and the only time I heard “Sarah” was if I was in trouble… or because many of the Catholic school nuns and teachers insisted on using my given name. None of this nickname stuff for those traditional Catholics!
But, even as a kid I toyed with changing my name. When I read that some people my nickname as “Sallie”, I decided to change the spelling of my name. I was around 12 or 13 at the time, and “Sallie” just seemed more elegant.
After my Mom died when I was 21 and I found myself pregnant a couple of months later, I decided I was ditching the name “Sally“ completely and henceforth I would be Sarah.
At that time I wasn’t thinking about identity shifting into motherhood, and full adulthood. I just was tired of Sally. It sounded like what people named their cows. And I hated it when people called me “Silly Sally.”
I was done with being Silly Sally. It was time to be Serious Sarah. After all, I was having a kid!
When I got married a few years later, I happily took my husband’s name because it was such a fun one: O’Leary. Now everyone thought I was Irish!
Plus I’d shifted identities once again - to being a married woman. And sooner than I planned I became a mother of two.
It was fun being an O’Leary. If people didn’t ask me about Mrs. O’Leary’s cow starting the fire in Chicago, they would ask me if I had any relation to Timothy O’Leary.
And I always said, “Actually, yes - he’s my husband!” That always got a laugh.
I wasn’t lying. My husband’s name was Tim. But of course they were just confusing O’Leary with Leary, and that always brought me a chuckle since my husband was no stranger to psychedelics. But no, he was not the infamous Timothy Leary.
When I went back to college in my 40s and my class schedule got all bungled up because I was in their system twice - once as O’Leary and once as Oleary, I decided to drop the apostrophe. Computers couldn’t seem to handle it.
Looking back, I see this was actually another little identity shift. I had sold my store the year before and was returning to college after dropping out when I became pregnant more than 20 years earlier. I was also returning to my old love of writing - choosing to major in journalism and minor in creative writing.
I found new passions during those years - picking up a second major in women’s studies. The life wisdom I’d gathered made the college experience more fulfilling, although my perfectionist parts had grown stronger and insisted that I get a 4.0 average.
I thought I’d never change my name again
When we separated and divorced I was already working online as Sarah Oleary. I thought I’d never change my name. It’s what everyone recognized and why go back to my maiden name? Exchange one man’s name for another’s again? No thanks!
Maybe I would have felt differently if I’d had a better relationship with my Dad…but that’s another story.
Then, shortly after our divorce, when we were still in our bickering phase, my ex asked me when I was going to drop the name OLeary.
“Never!” I responded, biting back my urge to say “Sorry”. I already had a public persona as Sarah Oleary
Later I started thinking about it though.
If I did change my name, I wondered, what would I change it to? Could I just pick a new name? When I had to choose a user name, I often chose sarahgrace. Hmm, I thought, maybe I would change it to Sarah Grace.
During those months I got on a call with a psychic and coach for a session. When we got on the phone, she said, “What? Your name is Sarah OLeary? I thought for sure your name was Sarah Powers. I even had it written down.”
I laughed, “Nope. Not sure where you got that from.” And then I sort of forgot about it, except when those thoughts about changing my name came back up. Why did she think I was Sarah Powers I wondered.
The following summer I moved down to Mexico, where I’d landed a part time job at the San Miguel Writer’s Conference.
On the first day there I met with my new boss to discuss the job, and she said, “Your name is Sarah O’Leary, right?”
And I told her, “Well, I’ve been considering changing it. That’s my married name, and I’m ready to let go of it.”
“Well,” she said, “If you’re thinking about going for a new name, now it’s the time to do it. No one knows you down here yet.”
It seemed like a sign for sure. But what should my new name be? Sarah Grace or Sarah Powers? Or something else?
Every morning, after my meditation, I always pull three Angel Cards to inspire my day. The very next morningI got Transformation, Grace, Power.
And so I realized the angels were telling me my new name was Sarah Grace Powers.
I went ahead and made the switch - everywhere except on the legal papers.
When I visited my old home in Northern California, folks asked me what’s up with this new name and I’d tell the story of the psychic and the Angel Cards.
“So, it’s your Spirit Name,” a friend said.
Yes, my Spirit Name. MY name, not connected to the troubled relationships with men.
This was all many years ago, but the idea of doing a legal name change was daunting, considering I’d have to apply for a new passport and then wait for it to arrive. And that would have to be AFTER I’d filed papers, run an announcement in the paper for four weeks, and attended the required hearing—just in case some man wanted to object to my new name.
I visited the States regularly, but I didn’t hang around long enough to wait for all of this.
So I put that legal step off. And even when I moved back to the U.S., I kept putting it off. It’s costly, a hassle, and I just never got around to it.
But let me tell you, it’s quite inconvenient—and confusing!—to have two names. Way too much explaining to do.
I’m feeling big shifts this year though. I’m ready to claim my new identity fully. The papers have been filed, my passport is ready for renewal anyway.
I’m stepping into the Grace and Power of the wisdom years by claiming my independence in a name.
Well done. Your spirit name is perfect. Since you chose it for yourself, it’s deeply personal and meaningful. Kudos to you for having the courage to make that change and step into your self. 🌿
Interesting to me since I’ve always know you with your SMA name, but also because in personally went through a similar change of names at two points in my life, and ended up at a combination of my birth names, one of which became an initial. Then my first grandchild couldn’t pronounce my preferred name for becoming a grandmother, and he innocently ended up at the nickname of the one birth name I had dropped ( I started with 4), and it was the one that my birth mother had added to the mix ( she left me at the hospital after delivering me, in the custody of my father she had just divorced). Names are always an interesting topic in our family!