This is an updated version of a blog post I wrote about eight years ago—the final installment in the 3-part “Make Peace with Your Aging Body” series. I was around 57 at the time, and my mission then and still is about unleashing the power of women at midlife and beyond.
To me, a big part of that freeing up of our power and our radiance is embracing exactly who we are as the years pass… instead of doing what culture tells us to do—pretend we are younger!
Whenever I use the word “Crone” in conversations with women over 50, I get blow back. Women my age and older HATE the word Crone. That is, women who have not learned about or experienced the magical element that surrounds this reviled word.
It’s time for us to reclaim the word “Crone!”
It’s a word that the patriarchy has tried to twist around to make women—in this case elder women—into something to be sneered at, dismissed, ignored.
The sad reality is that most people think ‘Crone’ means an ugly wart-nosed, snuggle-toothed old woman riddled with wrinkles, who yells at little kids who venture past her property.
However this definition was deliberately put into place during the Inquisition and witch burnings when male church fathers were intent on stripping women of any power they might hold.
Before then “crones”, “hags” and “witches” were positive terms for older women who held important positions in the community. They were the leaders, the healers, and the midwives—basically the bringers and preservers of life.
We’ve lost that knowledge now—at least in mainstream society.
Because of our modern culture’s contempt for any sort of aging—and in particular—women who have passed their childbearing years, no one wants to be thought of as a Crone.
This is a sad thing, because post-menopausal women are actually missing out on something very special when we eschew the very idea of being a Crone.
The True Meaning of Crone
I was lucky enough to start to understand “Crone” in a positive light in my 20s when I was experimenting with pagan/Goddess/nature-based religion rituals with other women. I have always been a fierce feminist and champion of women so it easily followed that I would be drawn to women’s ceremonies.
Back then we held New Moon and Full Moon ceremonies while our babies crawled around us. We read scholarly works on Goddess cultures and I sold those books in my store. I found this history fascinating, especially learning about how ancient Matriarchal societies operated in a peaceful and more inclusive fashion all those thousands of years ago.
The Crone is a facet of the Triple Goddess, which represents the stages of a woman’s life—Maiden, Mother and Crone.
Each facet has a sacred purpose and is regarded as equally beautiful (unlike the way we experience the stages of life in our western culture!) Each stage also corresponds with a phase of the moon.
‘Maiden’ is the waxing moon and new beginnings, ‘Mother’ is the peak of life, full ripening, represented by the full moon ( all women go through the ‘Mother’ phase whether they choose to bear children or not), ‘Crone’ is the waning moon and the new moon—therefore an ending and a beginning.
The Crone phase is a sort of culmination, when we are able to fully integrate and embody all the wisdom we have gathered in the previous phases. This is one of the reasons why elder women are honored and revered in many societies even to this day.
Barbara Walker, a scholar of Goddess religions and ancient matriarchal cultures wrote: “
“The Crone’s title was related to the word crown and she represented the power of the ancient tribal matriarch who made the moral and legal decisions for her subjects and descendants. It was the medieval metamorphosis of the wise woman into the witch that changed the word Crone from a compliment to an insult and established the stereotype of malevolent old womanhood that continues to haunt elder women today.”
Jean Shinoda Bolen, a scholar of Goddess archetypes, writes about ‘becoming a juicy crone’ in her book Goddesses in Older Women. She describes this stage of life as being,
“like the fresh green of spring, where she welcomes new growth and possibilities in herself and others… where there is something solid about her being an adult whose life has borne fruit through cultivation and pruning, as well as tempering and work.”
I personally love these images of the Crone phase of life as regal as well as juicy and still growing!
Crown Yourself: The Magic of a Crone Ceremony
I originally learned that a woman becomes “Crone” (in the sacred meaning of the word), when 13 months have passed since her last menstrual period. At this point she can be honored with a Crone Ceremony.
When I did further research I saw that others define the advent of the Crone stage at varying times, but it is usually at some point after a woman’s final period or ‘moon’.
Crone ceremonies, quite common in ancient times, are making a comeback. There are as many different versions as there are circles of women who create them. There are no rules – isn’t that awesome?
Some ceremonies are formal, following pagan tradition and specific Wiccan prayers. Others are made up by the participants and can be extremely simple and even party-like. They almost always include crowns for the crone(s) involved, and these are often fashioned from natural materials such as branches or leaves.
The purpose of the Croning Ritual is of course to acknowledge and honor the woman’s transition into this third phase, and to celebrate her embrace of her wisdom. Ceremonies can include altars, special garb or robes, rocks and crystals, flowers and branches, oracle cards such as Goddess Knowledge Cards, or anything else that calls to you.
In my 30s and 40s, I made an annual pilgrimage to the Northern California Womens’ Herbalist Symposium, a 4-day conference and campout. One of my favorite parts was the Maiden Ceremony where the young girls who had reached menarche were honored with an extensive and beautiful ritual.
What a concept! Instead of talking about it as ‘The Curse’, we were celebrating a rite of passage with these young girls. We grown women were envious!
As the years passed, as many of the women, including the organizers, began to approach the Crone years, a Crone Ceremony was added.
Women who have reached that phase can decide if they want to participate in the ceremony. Each Crone was assigned a maiden who looked after her needs not just during the ceremony but during the entire weekend.
During the ritual itself all the women were individually crowned Crone, smudged, sung to, and honored in other ritualistic ways.
As I watched the first couple of these ceremonies I looked forward to my time to be celebrated. But then I found myself living far away in Mexico when I reached my Crone years.
Now, though, I am back in Northern California, so I will get the chance to be honored in a Crone Ceremony in just a few weeks!
To Be a Modern Day Crone
Some women think that to embrace being a Crone they need to let their hair go grey, stop tending their wrinkles, and not care about their looks. I absolutely disagree.
Every woman who enters this stage of life has within them the Sacred Crone. Whether they choose to color their hair a flaming red and wear mini skirts, or whether they prefer long flowing silver locks and robes to match…. Both are wise women in their own right.
Many of us will fall somewhere in between these two extremes. We all get the chance to be the Crone we want to be!
Even if you’re not yet ready to call yourself a Crone (it does take the brain a little time to switch out its connotations), I invite you to reconsider your knee-jerk reactions when you encounter this word.
After all, maybe being a Crone can allow us to receive even more. Our “Mother” years were spent giving, giving, giving (even if we didn’t choose children).
Most women struggle to ask for or receive help and support. Embracing your Crone status gives you an opportunity to allow the Universe to shower you with support.
When you embody the true meaning of Crone, people will respond by noticing your INNER beauty, your wisdom, and they will naturally want to come to you for your knowing, and they will naturally want to give back to you.
When I first penned this article all those years ago, I wrote: “I’m looking forward to a time when more people understand and embrace this real meaning of the word Crone.”
I believe NOW is when this is happening.
More and more of us are boldly owning our age and our claim to the magic of the Crone years. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:
Our generation is reinventing what it means to age!
When you’re a woman this means letting go of the need to dress or look a certain way for others. We get to take care of our bodies for Ourselves! We get to adorn and dress up for Ourselves!!
In the times we’re living through now, women of all ages are recognizing the toxicity of the Male Gaze, and we are taking back our sovereignty. We were not made to be eye candy for a man, nor are we required to take care of men emotionally.
Sure we can tend to others—if and when we want to. But this is a time that we get to tend to ourselves and our own emotional growth and fulfillment. And this goes for Crones and Mothers and Maidens!!
It’s a time that women can shuck off their fears of being ‘invisible’ and unattractive due to their chronological age and truly step into their power and their leadership potential.
Further Reading (for those who want to dive deep)
Goddesses in Older Women and Crones Don’t Whine, both by Jean Shinoda Bolen
The Crone, by Barbara Walker
Blessings to all the old crones of this world, may your cackling and snide wit long keep us on the straight and narrow, without you the world would be a less interesting place!
I’ve bookmarked this to reread, absorb it, and apply it to conversations. Very powerful! Thank you ✨